Thoughts from a Bucks volunteer

After six months of disruption (snow, holidays and illness) the show’s back on the road for our group! Nine of us (three drivers, four guests and two hosts) shared a lovely tea in a kitchen overlooking a garden with three clucky chickens. Conversations covered the best way to make a Guinness cake (one for you, one for the cake), Dorine’s new knee, Bill’s mobility scooter running out of charge on the way to the Post Office, and how Pat catapulted her future husband over the handlebars of her motorbike and then spent the evening in hospital having her leg sewn up whilst he shared an entire bottle of whiskey with his future father in law.

We also spoke about how to get some new members to come along to the tea parties, as Derek and Violet have stepped down as they’re too ill to come out (but Sarah and I still drop by occasionally to say hello). I’m sure Head Office will come up with the goods, but in the meantime if you know any lonely older people living in Buckinghamshire (or someone willing to host in August), please ask them to get in touch!

p.s. How do you find the most lonely older people, or how do you help them to find us?

Thoughts from a Bucks volunteer

We had another lovely tea party this month visiting Lynn and Dennis, who hosted their very first tea party in October. I guess we can’t have been too bad last time, and we were very happy to come back!

Visiting hosts for the second time is always really nice, and not only because Pat, Derek and myself tend to get lost when we go to new places. A second visit helps you to get to know the family a bit better, and they also get to know us all too.

We were almost at full strength, with just Violet being too poorly to come out, and the tea party was soon the typical hubbub of conversations about 1001 different topics, whilst four different types of sandwiches, each on white (Pat can’t have brown) and brown (Bill can’t have white) bread, were passed around. You could tell Lynn was hosting her second tea party, and it was really touching she remembered! However, the secret of her impeccable hosting was revealed when I took some empty cups to the kitchen to help with the washing up and discovered an open cookery book with the chapter ‘making tea for a crowd’ lying revealingly open!

Penny the 8 year old boxer dog, and Smudge the cat also made an appearance, and Smudge soon took up her position on Derek’s lap, with Derek looking every inch the Bond villain as he stroked her. Conversations ranged from the realities of childbirth (ouch) to potholes (tarmac on concrete – not a good combination) and learning the lesson of always locking your chickens up at night (a mistake you only make once). The food ended with some beautiful scones with cream and raspberry jam and homemade banana and homemade lemon cake.

As Lynn and Dennis keep pigs, chickens and sheep, at half past four Dennis gave everyone the chance to have a bit of a tour. Derek, Margaret and a few volunteers braved the spring afternoon, and we were soon feeding four mischievous piglets and 40 rare breed chickens with a very large, very proud ginger cockerel. 20 minutes later, and remarkably mud free, we came back to the house for a final cup of tea.

As we left, guests emerged with well scrubbed, newly laid fresh eggs, memories of a soppy dog, lazy cat, lots of farm animals, four incredibly polite teenage children and two very welcoming hosts who made us all feel like part of the family.

Contact in Sweden

Last year we ended with a big tea party with both of our groups together. We held it on dec 13th - the Lucia-day – which was very much appreciated by the guests. Some of them celebrate the whole Christmas season all by themselves otherwise. The drive went out to Saltsjö-Duvnäs in Nacka (20 min outside the city) to the hosts Louise & Lilly Gyll (mother and daughter) who invited us to their pretty house by the water. The guests were first seated in the living room by the open fire and were served the traditional Lucia glögg, gingerbread cookies and lussekatter. After some chats between volunteers and guests in the two groups we all were seated in the big dining room and were served coffee, tea, sandwiches and more sweets. All the guests left with a big smile on their faces that day.

The first tea parties this year where spent in Gustavsberg (Nacka) with group 2 on 24 jan - at hostess Stephanie Vukmanic and her sweet little cat. It’s the flu season so it was only a small group with three guests and two drivers this time. The group welcomed a new guest who were very happy to join.

Group 1 had their first tea party in 31 jan in the city, on Södermalm – Jeanette Predin and Tom Bertling welcomed us to their very modern but also homey apartment (Tom is an interior designer). The group were served tinned sprat sandwiches and some very delicious homemade cakes. The chocolate cake with cream were the favorite. It was a snowy day so the open fire was a welcomed feature also this time.
Jeanette has a blog on RIX FM (a big music radio station in Sweden) and wrote about the day and put out some pictures: http://www.rixfm.com/bloggar/backstage/2010/02/01/musik-och-fika-helg

Thoughts from a Bucks volunteer

Today’s tea party was a fine example of keeping the show on the road! As I work full time, weekends are the only time I have to get things done. This is why driving once a month is ideal. However, sometimes it’s difficult to even keep an occasional Sunday afternoon free!

I’m hopefully about to move home and the tea party fell in the middle of the big attic clearout. Realising, late on Saturday, it wouldn’t be done in time I agonised what to do. Could I bring myself to call Pat and Derek and tell them they couldn’t go out this month?

No, I couldn’t do it – they just had to get there!

At 3.00pm the following day, a car pulled into the drive of a very pretty farmhouse on the outskirts of a small village. In the car were Pat and Derek, both dressed in their Sunday best, and me... in a torn t-shirt, scruffy trainers and covered in dust from a morning in the attic.

Faith, a long standing host, gave us such a warm welcome. She remembered Pat and welcomed Derek as a new group member. Her son and granddaughter were also there, to experience their first tea party, and there were plenty of smiles all around. I took Derek in first to lead the way and we went into the living room. Derek chose to sit by the roaring log fire in a green wing backed chair and instantly looked the image of a country gent!

Once both Pat and Derek were settled, I made my excuses and left to take one final trip to the tip, promising to be back at 5.30. That’s right – I had to miss the tea party!

As you can probably guess, I was a little late coming back (I missed the turning in the dark), and finally arrived at a quarter to six, where I found Pat, Derek, Faith and our coordinator sitting at the kitchen table. Spread in front of them lay the remains of a huge feast – three large home made cakes, still warm scones, sandwiches, biscuits and lots of empty tea cups.

They all looked quite relieved (but perhaps a little disappointed?) I’d made it back, and Faith instantly cut three very large slices of cake – one to eat now and two to take home in a doggy bag. I heard lots of stories about the tea party, and caught up on the gossip.

We then gave our goodbyes, and headed back home, where we talked about the countryside, Faith’s beautiful farmhouse, how I always manage to get lost and finally about moving houses. Both Pat and Derek last moved in the sixties, moving into family homes where they could stay for life. They’ve managed it too – and I hope I’m lucky enough to do the same.


For more information about Contact the Elderly visit www.contact-the-elderly.org.uk

Contact in Sweden

AldreKontakt, an organisation which has taken the simple concept of Contact the Elderly to Sweden, has now launched its second group in Stockholm.

Therese Karlsson was asked to research services for lonely older people and came across Contact the Elderly in June 2008. In October last year they launched the first group and is going from strenght to strenght.

About the second group launch Therese says: "Christine Johansson is doing a splendid job as group leader, coordinating the group and together with the drivers they make it possible for 6 older ladies to meet once a month from here on.
The guests are very happy to have gotten this chance to come out and make new friends, and are greatful to all the hosts for inviting them to their homes.

For the first outing the group went to Djursholm, a residential district 15 min outside the city, and was welcomed by Sophia Nybell and her family.

It was a typically rainy November day and everyone was glad to come inside and sit near the open fire in the living room.

Delicious sandwiches were served, many cups of coffee and tea were poured and the cat Felicia enjoyed all the attention. The two hours went by fast with chat and laughter and they all look forward to seeing each other soon again."

www.aldrekontakt.se

Thoughts from a Bucks volunteer

The group visited Lynn and Dennis this month at their lovely house in the country. This was their first tea party, and getting there was quite an adventure! We were given ‘house name’, ‘village’ and ‘postcode’ only (no handy street name) and internet maps pointlessly displayed a circle in the middle of empty space.

Plucking up courage, Pat, Derek and I set off and, several false turns, an impromptu stop for petrol, and some very helpful directions from a helpful man later, we arrived – just ten minutes late. And what a welcome! We were ushered into their cosy living room to join Bill and Anne, and started to chat until Sarah, Dorine and Violet arrived, ten minutes later, after, to my relief, getting lost too.

As usual, drivers scuttled around helping the hosts hand out tea and making sure everyone was settled. After this flurry of activity, we sat down and joined in with one of the three conversations taking place, until sandwiches and homemade cake and scones were brought in at about 4.

For me there were plenty of highlights: The sight of Bill and Lynn, deep in conversation about Malta and life in the Navy, Violet refusing my silent prompts from the other side of the room to be the first to try the beautiful Victoria Sponge and us both giggling when Dennis discovered what we were doing, Smudge the cat and their lovely dog joining us late in the afternoon, going from person to person for attention until Smudge found a happy home on Derek’s lap, our hosts’ incredibly polite and helpful 14 year old daughter not knowing where to look when discussion turned to teenagers’ behaviour on Halloween, and, my personal favourite, Pat receiving her first Harvest Festival hamper from the local infant school. “I’m very grateful, but I now know I’ve arrived, I now know I’m elderly!”

On the way back, travelling on the quiet, dark roads, Derek fell asleep whilst Pat and I discussed the merits of Strictly against X factor, and then talk turned to the harvest festival gift and knowing when you’re old. “the thing is”, said Pat, “I don’t feel any different inside than I did when I was 25”



To find out more about Contact the Elderly visit http://www.contact-the-elderly.org.uk/

Thoughts from a Bucks volunteer

I’ve been driving for Contact the Elderly for almost four years and have been to almost 40 tea parties. Whilst this is hardly any compared to most drivers, I feel really close to my group and our wonderful hosts and hostesses. As our group gets on so well together, I tend to forget the age differences and I don’t really think of the difference we make to our elderly guests.

However, two months ago I started to pick up a new member, Derek, an elderly gentleman in his early nineties, whose family live a five hour drive away. Derek is a true gentleman and he seems to be fitting into our little group very well. His first two outings have been to very different hosts, his first to a beautiful house in the country, and his second to a lively house in the town, hosted by a young couple with two small girls, aged 2 and 5.

When dropping Derek home in the evening, I asked him how he found the group, and explained how our hosts are so very different. I was really touched when he said “I hadn’t expected to feel so welcome, as a true member of their family”.

I’ve been to so many tea parties that I know what to expect, but it’s only when I was shown the tea parties through fresh eyes that I saw how appreciated the tea parties are and what an amazing job our hosts do.

From a driver, thank you.

For more information about Contact the Elderly please visit http://www.contact-the-elderly.org.uk/